Monday, November 30, 2009

kau bagaimana?


Tiba-tiba aku terfikir tentang perkara ini. Tiada maksud apa-apa, cuma suka-suka. Mengisi masa lapang aku yang memang sangat lapang ini. Adoi laaa... OK!. Apa kriteria kau untuk mencari pasangan duet kau? Bukan pasangan duet kau menyanyi, tu aku tahu. Asal tahu menyanyi, jalan! Kan? kan?. Ke bukan? heheh..

Pasangan duet yang aku maksudkan di sini ialahhh pasangan hidup kau sehingga akhir hayat kau. Kira, mencari kekasih sepanjang hayat kau laa..Tiada alasan! Cuma suka-suka. Sengaja menimbulkan persoalan kepada mereka yang mungkin belum terfikir (mungkin) atau aku memang sudah terlalu bosan dengan kerja membuang masa di bilik! Haha! Jadi, apa??. Eheks!!

Kalaulah kau masih ada pilihan untuk memilih, apa kriteria yang ada dalam senarai kau untuk mencari pasangan duet sepanjang hayat kau?. Adakah penampilannya?. Yang sopan?. Yang kurang sopan?. Yang tidak sopan?.. Tapi, yang sopan itu pula yang bagaimana?. dan yang tidak sopan itu pula yang bagaimana??. Atau rupanya? Yang cute? yang anggun? yang ayu? yang hitam manis? atau yang manis saja, atau hitam saja? Hik3. Atau kebijaksanaannya? Yang bijak itu pula yang bagaimana? Atau tingkah lakunya? Yang baik hati? pemaaf? pemurah?. bagaimana pula mahu mencari mereka ang baik hati, pemaaf, pemurah ini ya? Di mana mereka ini?

Entahlah!. Aku, kau, dia dan mereka berhak menetapkan kriteria pasangan duet sepanjang hayat kita. Tapi!. Sahabat aku kata, jangan menilai orang secara membabi buta. Betul! Lagi dia kata, jangan meletakkan harapan yang tinggi terhadap seseorang yang belum kita kenali!. Jangan!!. Sebab, hanya kerana kita tersalah nilai orang, kadang-kadang kita akan melabelkan seseorang yang kita pandang tinggi hati budinya itu sebagai "tidak baik" hanya apabila kita telah mengetahui sikap dan perangai buruknya yang dalam tanggapan kita sebelum ini sebagai "tidak mungkin" orang itu begitu. Tidak baik begitu kan? kan? Eheks!! Lagipun, kita sering diingatkan dengan fakta : Nobody's perfect! dan ianya betul!!! Tapi, bukankah apabila kita sudah menerima seseorang itu, maka bererti kita sanggup menjadi pelengkap kekurangannya? bukan ke? eheks!!

*Kau nampak gambar di atas tu?. Kalau diberi kesempatan untuk menyukai orang, dan diberi peluang untuk memilih orang yang aku suka, aku mahu melepak di situ semasa hari jadi aku satu hari nanti, bersama-sama orang yang aku suka. Kalau aku diberi peluang. Eheks!!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

didn't want to lose salvation, but what if there was no salvation to lose?

* Kita hidup saat ini, untuk dua saat akan datang.. Kalau saat ini kita minum racun!, bagaimana agaknya kita pada dua saat akan datang??

By : Khadija Watson, formerly Mary Sue Malvar. "Professor, Theologian, Missionary, Pastor, Church Planter, Licensed Ordained Minister, fundamentalist Christian, not a likely candidate for Islam.

Yet, 6 years ago, after being raised in the Christian church all my life, (first as a Roman Catholic and then as a Born-Again, Spirit-Filled Christian) and having completed a Standard Ministerial Diploma, Bachelor of Theology and a Master of Divinity, I embraced Islam! What was it that brought about such a radical change?

I started to question Christian beliefs while I was studying for my Master's degree. As was my habit, I read through the Bible once every year for 12 years. I had done this along with multiple readings in connection with my preaching, teaching and studies. It was during these readings that I started to notice certain contradictions.

For instance, we teach the doctrine of Original Sin from Genesis 3 but it is contradicted in Ezekiel 18:1-22. If this basic doctrine is not true, the whole foundation of all Christianity falls. I saw these things as I read, and always stopped to ponder them, but never had time to research them because of my studies, etc. Yes, during my 8 years of study, we read through the Bible book-by-book, chapter-by-chapter and verse-by-verse; however, we never did a cross study, so any contradictions that are apparent were never addressed. Also, this was the first time we studied Church History by actual history and not from the Bible.

It was at this point that I began to question Christian Doctrines that were not in existence during the time of Jesus; rather, they began 325 years later starting with the Doctrine of the Trinity. The word "trinity" is not found in any Bible in the world, neither is it in the original Greek and Hebrew languages [these were the original languages that the Bible was written in]. This Doctrine [of Trinity] was introduced at the first of 4 councils that determine Christianity today, but because the Catholics at that time would not accept it-it had to be reintroduced 68 years later, at the 2nd council of Nicaea. Through the Doctrine of Incarnation, which makes Jesus both God and man, to the Doctrine of Propitiation, or perfect sacrifice, the formulation of all of these doctrines took more than 100 years.

I always had a hunger in my heart to know more of God. One day, I went to my professor and stated, "There has to be more to Christianity than what we teach. We tell the people they must be "Born Again" (meaning you have made a personal statement and commitment to asking Jesus Christ to come into your heart and forgive your sins and make you a new person), or you must be "Filled with the Holy Spirit"-in addition to being "Born Again" (in which the person will have an in-filling of the Holy Spirit, experienced by glossolalia or speaking in tongues). I had both of these experiences, although they are not recognized as necessary by all Christian churches or denominations. There is a lot of in-fighting and theological differences between denominations. Protestants do not recognize Catholics as even being Christian because they worship Mary, the mother of Jesus [peace be upon him] along with various saints. Baptists do not have "fellowship" with non-Baptists. In addition, there are Methodist, Wesleyan, Presbyterian, Congregational, Pentecostal churches and a thousand independent churches that do not belong to any denomination. They all differ on points of doctrine or interpretation of the Bible. I felt that if what we were teaching were genuine, there would be no need for denominations. There should be an apparent change in society around us. Instead, society is in a decline and in worse condition than it was even 50 years ago! The [so called] Christian countries are among the worst. My professor was lost for words and couldn't respond.

I went ahead and graduated with my Masters of Divinity (a degree in Theology) in 1993. A month after graduating, I decided to study German. One of my classmates was a medical doctor who had spent six years in Dubai . We became friends and I noticed he was always asking me questions concerning the Old Testament. I was, also, always asking him questions concerning culture in the Middle East . (I was never interested in Islam, although my major throughout my studies was in missions. We had studies in Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Animism and Catholicism along with cults. My interest was in Animism, or tribal worship.) When we were together, I noticed he was different. He always wanted to pray, but in a Christian context. When we were out, he was always giving money to the beggars. He even had a plastic bag full of coins in the car for this purpose. One day I mentioned to him that if I hadn't known better, I would have thought he were Muslim. He confessed to me that when he was in Dubai , he had embraced Islam, but had never told his family. When he returned to the Philippines , he apostatized and was no longer praying or practicing Islam. His family were devoted Catholics, although he was no longer affiliated with the Catholic Church, rather the Protestant church.

It was within this same time frame that I met a lady who had embraced Islam while working in Saudi Arabia . I was living in Manila at the time, and although there are Muslims there, it's not like I was out looking for them. I thought this was rather strange that I should meet two people who were Muslims within such a short time. Knowing how God works in my life through ordinary circumstances, I jokingly said, "Okay, God, what are you trying to tell me?"

I asked her about Islam, and the first thing I asked concerned how women were treated. It is well known (as we are taught in the west and hear through the media) that Muslim women are second-class citizens with no rights. She must hide herself in an abaya/purdah or covering because her husband or father does not want anyone to see her. She must stay in the house, she is uneducated and along with this the husband has a right to beat her!

I was stunned by her answer. She said the wife and mother are highly respected in Islam.

When the companions of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) asked who after Allah should we respect (not worship)? He said, ?Your mothers!? When asked again he repeated the same thing and when asked a third time, he said, ?Your mothers then your fathers.? Imagine, after Allah-God, you are commanded to respect your mother. Even in Prophet Muhammad's last sermon, he admonished men to respect woman and give them their rights!! The first person to embrace Islam was a woman, the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the first martyr in Islam was a woman. Why wouldn't women be respected?

When I asked her about the covering that women have to ware, she explained that women are covered because it is the command of Allah for the protection of women. In the United States today every 90 seconds a woman is raped!! When a woman is raped it is because of the clothing (or lack of it) that she is wearing. Men are aroused by what they see. When prisoners convicted for rape were asked what they look for in a victim, they all said accessibility.

She also went on to explain that spousal abuse is not a part of Islam. Every 4 minutes in the United States a woman is molested or abused. These are the ones reported because they end up in hospitals or the police have been called. What about those who are too ashamed?

As far as education, Prophet Muhammad said to seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave? Muslim women are in every segment of society, as doctors, nurses, teachers, television reports, anchor women, engineers and politicians. This is not just in western countries but Islamic countries as well. The media has done a great injustice itself in portraying Muslim women as ignorant and uneducated. We are shown only pictures of countries that have a high rate of illiteracy among the populist to start with. As a matter of fact the women in the United States who are embracing Islam have more Bachelors, Master's and PhD's then the men who are embracing Islam!!

I was so sure that what I had been taught was right and I was ready to give all of my sympathy to these poor deprived Muslim women. Upon being told the truth, as opposed to the fallacy I had been taught, I proceeded to ask her other questions: Who is Allah, and who is Muhammad (peace be upon him) in relation to the Muslims? At that time, I was teaching in the colleges, so my questions were quite deep. She admitted to being somewhat of a new Muslim and that although she could not answer all questions, she would accompany me to the Islamic Center where someone could.

Right away I blurted out YES , I will go with you. You can't imagine how shocked I was to hear myself saying yes, as I had all intensions of saying NO! It was like suddenly my ears heard my mouth saying yes! She was so excited and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I went home and prayed "Lord, (meaning Jesus at that time), if this is Satanic or Demonic (as Christians are taught that Islam is) then show me. I will not go even one time." After all, I wasn't about to open myself to some demonic spirit. After that prayer I didn't feel any hesitation, so I went with her [rather cautiously].

I was quite surprised by their approach. I taught Church Evangelism. I know that there are many strategies and methods to be used when calling for someone to follow your religion. They didn't use any of them! There was no psychological manipulation, no subliminal influence, no harassment, none of this "let's have a Quranic study in your house" as opposed to Christians using a Bible study, and no telephone calls. They were straightforward and honest. They gave me some books and said that if I had any questions they would be happy to answer them. I went home that night and read all of the books they had given me. I was fascinated and surprised. This was the first time I was actually reading a book about Islam written by a Muslim! All the books we had ever read during my 8 years of studies on Islam had been written by Christians. These books reflected what they think Islam is. But what they think Islam is and what Islam really is are two entirely different perspectives. The Christians are sincere, but sincerely wrong.

I went back the next day and discussed for three hours what I had read. They gave me some more books and I went home that night and read all of those books. I went back the next day and we had another three-hour discussion. This went on for a week. At the end of that time, I had read 12 books and had spent more than 15 hours in discussion. I studied eight years in formal Christian theological studies. At the end of that week, I knew cognitively (head knowledge) that Islam is true. Did I embrace Islam then? No, because even then I wasn't a hypocrite. It wasn't in my heart.

Among the first questions I asked that week was the question: Who is Allah? We had been taught the God of the Muslims is a pagan god (somewhat like the a Hindu god, but his name is Allah and this is the one the Muslims worship). I was surprised to find out that Allah is The Omniscient (All-Knowing), Omnipotent (All-Powerful) and Omnipresent (All-Present) God. He is the Creator, Sustainer and Provider. This certainly did not correspond with my studies in paganism, and I realized "certainly, this is not a pagan god". There are neither rituals of secrecy nor any mediator. He is The One and Only God, without partners . This is opposed to the Doctrine of the Trinity where God is three beings: Father, Son (Jesus) and Holy Spirit, all co-equal and co-eternal. We would like to ask our Christian friends who Jesus was when he was supposed to be dying on the cross and he said "Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachtani? (My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?)" (Matthew 27: 46) Was he talking to himself? Perhaps you will say, "No, that was the human part of Jesus" (Doctrine of the Incarnation where Jesus was made both God and man) Man, you will say, to relate to human suffering. But if you say this, then Jesus was not the perfect Sacrifice (Doctrine of Propitiation) because according to Christian Doctrine, all men are born with original sin (This is the sin placed upon mankind because of Adam and Eve.) If he were born without this sin, he would be less than man, and could not relate to temptation and suffering.

The second question I asked was: Who is Muhammad (peace be upon him) in relation to the Muslims? I was surprised to learn that the Muslims do not pray to Muhammad (peach be upon him) as the Christians pray to Jesus (peace be upon him). The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is not a mediator. Muslims ask Allah to bless him and his descendants as we likewise ask Allah to bless the Prophet Abraham (peace be upon him) and his descendents at the end of our prayers. He came with the same message that all of the Prophets (peace be upon them all) brought, including Jesus. This message is to worship The One True God-Allah. Moses spoke to the people of Israel , " Hear O Israel ! The Lord your God is ONE GOD and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength." (Deuteronomy 6:4) Jesus (peace be upon him) also delivered the exact same message, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God is One God and you shall love the Lord you God with all your heart, all your mind, with all your strength." (Mark 12:29 , 30) Note: Jesus said ONE GOD, not three in one! Jesus, himself, (peace be upon him) never claimed to be Son of God, which is what other people said of him. He always referred to himself as son of man. Each Prophet came with the same message, but there was a distinction in the deliverance of their messages. The message of Moses (peace be upon him) was delivered during the Plagues on Egypt . The distinction of Jesus (peace be upon him) is the casting out of demons and raising the dead, all by the power of Allah. The distinction of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is that the Holy Quran was revealed to a Prophet who could neither read nor write. The message of Moses and Jesus (peace be upon them) was sent to a specific people, the Jews. In the Bible, the words "Hear O Israel, Hear O Israel" are repeated over and over by the Prophets, including Jesus. The Holy Quran was not sent to a specific people although the Prophet (peace be upon him) was Arab and the language is Arabic. Allah says in the Holy Quran [more than 20 times] that Islam was sent to ALL MANKIND!

The third question asked was: What are the words of the prayer? Of course we have all seen pictures of Muslims praying toward the Kabah in Makkah. We used to think that the Muslims believe that the black cubical is their god or they think their god is in there. This again shows the ignorance that many non-Muslims and Christians in particular, have about the understanding of Islam. Since prayer and sanctification (holiness) had always been of utmost importance to me as a Christian, I was very interested to know the way and the words of the prayer.

They replied "first of all the approach to prayer is in cleanliness-both physical and spiritual. Allah, The Creator of man is the only one who has the right to say how we should come before Him in prayer. Before, as a Catholic, I genuflected and made the sign of the cross. Later, as a Protestant, we raised our hands singing, clapping, shouting, dancing and crying. In our ignorance, we thought that this was the right way to approach God. He tells us in the Holy Quran the exact way we are to approach Him (chapter 5 verse 6). We are to wash our hands, face, forearms, wipe over our heads and wash our feet. By doing so, the minor sins we committed from those parts of our body are washed away. We, then, assume a standing position while facing Makkah (the focal point of our prayer), and raise our hands saying, "God is the Greatest". After that, we say the first Surah (chapter) of the Holy Quran: "Praise be to God, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the world, The Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate, Master of the Day of Judgment. It is Thee we worship and Thy aid we seek. Show us the straight way. The path of those upon whom You have bestowed favor, not of those who have evoked [Your] anger or of those who are astray. (Surah 1 Ayahs 1-7) Then again we raise our hands to our shoulders and say "God is the Greatest" This is followed by bowing and placing the hands on the knees while saying "Praise be to our Glorious Lord" three times or more. When rising to a standing position, we say: "Allah hears who praises Him. Our Lord, for you is all praise." Again the words, "God is the Greatest". Now the worshipper will prostrate before Allah on the ground while saying, "Glory to the Lord, the Great" three times or more. After that, he reclines to a sitting position on his feet while asking Allah to forgive him his sins and assumes again the prostrating position while repeating again "Glory to the Lord, the Great" three times or more. I was so stunned at hearing the words of this prayer that I blurted out "There is nothing objectionable about this prayer! It is a prayer of praise to God!!!" The words of the prayer and the execution are by direction of Allah as shown to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) by Angel Gabriel (peace be upon him). This is the way the Angels in heaven pray before the throne of God. Imagine! The Muslims are the only people in the world who pray like the Angels in heaven pray! Along with this, when one stops to think, the Muslims are instructed to pray at stated times which corresponds with the position of the sun. This means that with the rotation of the earth only the Muslims are in continuous prayer before the ONE AND ONLY MOST HIGH GOD-ALLAH 24 HOURS A DAY!

The last question I had concerned the authenticity of the Holy Quran. The Bible is made up of 66 books (the Catholic Bible has more) and is compiled by over 40 different authors. For some books the author is either unknown or not stated, for instance, the book of Ruth in the Old Testament and Hebrews in the New Testament. Although Hebrews is attributed to Paul, his signature does not appear on it, and in the middle of Hebrews, the style of writing changes. Of course, the average Christian is not aware of this and unless you are studying for a theological degree, you will not ordinarily find this out just by reading the Bible. In the Bible, you are also dealing with two languages: Hebrew in the Old Testament and Greek in the New Testament. Neither of these languages is to be confused with the colloquial or spoken languages of today. I have also never heard that Jesus spoke Greek! I had to study both languages in course of my studies. I was impressed to find out that the Holy Quran had only one author, that being Allah-God Himself! At the beginning of every chapter, except for one, it boldly states, IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST GRACIOUS, THE MOST MERCIFUL, unlike the Bible which states in the Old Testament: The Book of . . ., or in the New Testament which states: the Gospel according to . . . [Matthew, Mark, Luke or John]. By the way, according to Biblical scholars, Matthew, Mark and Luke were not the disciples of Jesus. They were disciples of Peter and Paul. Mark is the first gospel written around 68 AD. Many Biblical scholars feel that Matthew plagiarized from Mark and that Mark had gotten some of his information from another source called Q. Luke states in both his gospel and the book of Acts that his accounts are only second hand. John's gospel was written about 100 AD. Like I said, unless you are studying theology, you don't find these things out.

Another thing that impressed me is the fact that the Holy Quran has remained unchanged in 1427 years!! What is read today is exactly verbatim as it was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Those who are reading translations of the Holy Quran will usually find the Arabic next to it. It must be remembered: a translation is not a transliteration. (In every language, there will be variations in grammatical style and structure, as well as phrases that cannot be translated exactly. Therefore, translation is accomplished through finding the meaning of what is said as well as the exact words that are used. This is why every Muslim is encouraged to learn the Arabic of the Quran.) Not only are our prayers said in the original language, but this also means that Muslims are the only people on earth who are drawn together by a common language. For instance, if a Chinese Muslim came to the United States and could not speak English and the American Muslim could not speak Chinese; they could communicate by using the Arabic of the Quran.

Although, I did not embrace Islam that week, I started to attend the Islamic lectures. Again, I sat there stunned by what I was learning. Everything I had learned about Islam while studying for my Master's degree was refuted in these classes. As a Christian we never knew that the Muslims believe in the virgin birth of Jesus. We didn't even think that they believed in Jesus at all! But if a Muslim does not to believe in the virgin birth of Jesus, he/she is not a Muslim . I was also surprised to know that Muslims believe that Jesus was taken into heaven and will come again! Mary, the mother of Jesus, has a whole chapter of Quran in the Holy Quran named after her, yet the Muslims don't worship her or pray to her as the Catholics do! The Catholic and Protestant Bibles have only a small paragraph devoted to her, "The Magnificent". Surah Maryam is the name of the chapter called after her, the mother of Jesus (peace be upon him).

People have also asked me how I can believe that an angel delivered the message to Prophet Muhammad. Angel Gabriel whom Allah chose to deliver the message to Prophet Muhammad is the same Angel Gabriel who delivered the message to Mary that she was chosen to be the mother of Jesus. He was not speaking his own words but that which he was commanded to speak from Allah.

I would go home from these classes and meditate, contemplating what I was learning. Christianity had raised a lot of questions in my mind, yet Islam was giving me the answers! Everyday I attended the lectures and every night I read the Bible and every night I prayed, "God, show me if this (Islam) is true." Somewhere along the line I had stopped saying Jesus, stopped saying Holy Spirit and stopped saying "father". I was just saying God [whoever you are] show me if this is true. When you ask the Omniscient God to show you the truth, will He play a joke on you? It is not easy to change your religion. I didn't want to lose my salvation, but what if there was no salvation to lose? One night about two months from the first time I had gone to the Islamic center, I had prayed this prayer as I had been doing and went to bed. Somewhere between the state of awake and asleep I physically felt something come into my heart. Immediately being fully conscience, I sat up in bed and spoke out loud, " Allah, I believe that you are ONE GOD AND ONE GOD ONLY." This was the first time I had used the name of Allah. Although I heard others use it, I never allowed myself to say this name until that time. After I had said that, there immediately descended upon me a peace that, Alhumdulillah (Praise be to God) has never left me to this day.

My decision was not to be without repercussion. The Christians who profess the love of Jesus and who so readily accuse others of persecuting people for becoming Christian were the very ones to perpetrate persecution on me. Of course, the first thing to go was my job. I would no longer be able to teach in the Christian Colleges . You can have a Christian teach about Islam, but you can't have a Muslim teach about Christianity. I had already been a widow for seven years at the time I embraced Islam. That meant I must support myself. I still had three children I was financially responsible for out of nine.

The second thing to occur was that my husband's family disowned me. My husband came from a very prominent family. His grandfather is in the history books as a recognized hero, and his father had at one time been governor. Although all three of them were dead, I had a close relationship with his family, so much so that I was actually closer to them than to my own family. After becoming a Muslim, I was told (in no uncertain terms) that I was no longer a part of the family and not to join in any of the family gatherings. There are members of the family still in politics, and it was certainly not to their advantage to have a Muslim in the family. I felt very hurt by this; as for many years I had a close relationship with them. It was not on the basis of my being a Christian, but because I was part of the family. When my husband died, it was his family that I counted on for help raising my children, only now to be turned away. I cried for many days, but whenever I made Salah (obligatory prayer) I had the peace of knowing I had made the right decision.

My own children were to be another source of contention. At this point, all of my children, except for one son who was with me, were in the United States . As I was attending the Islamic Center, I was sharing with them through letters what I was learning. After I embraced Islam, my oldest daughter (who happens to work for the headquarters of the church in which I was affiliated for 18 years) wrote me letter and said, "Don't you know that Islam is one of the most Satanic religions?" I responded by sending her some booklets and she wrote back and said, "DON'T TRY TO CONVERT ME!" I explained to her that it was forbidden for us by Allah to force our religion on anyone, but that I had thought she might like to read them to see what it is I believed.

As a parent, when you are experiencing some difficulty with one of your wayward children, you usually call a meeting of the close relatives [grandmother, aunt, cousin] who might have some influence over the situation. Well, I found out later that my children had a meeting about me! Mother is the problem and Islam is the culprit! Like most big families, there is a dividing line among sets of children. The three oldest are the bosses, the three middle ones are the fighters and the younger ones have no say. While the discussion was in hot pursuit, the oldest ones were vehemently opposed to the whole situation, the middle ones said, "This is our mother and it is her decision. She is not forcing it on us. We want to continue to be close to her and we want her also to be close to her grandchildren." When I finally went to the States, the older ones wanted to argue and had put up a wall that prevented any discussion. On the other hand, the middle ones were open and full of questions. Our conversations were just that-meaningful conversations-that took place in the course of natural conversation. One daughter even made a statement that I was nicer as a Muslim than when I was a Christian! This surprised me because, as a Christian, I had always tried to exemplify what I believed.

When I am in the States, I still wear abaya and hijab. This same daughter made another startling statement. She said she could tell when a Muslim man was looking at me! I was curious as to how she came to this conclusion, since I am not looking at men to begin with, and most Muslim men in the States are not wearing any distinguishing dress (most not even a beard). So I asked her how she could tell. She told me, "When they look at you, it is different. They look at you with respect." After 6 years, the older ones have finally accepted that I am a Muslim and, by the will of Allah, will not change back to Christianity. They accept, not approve. The others said that they see Islam is a way of life unlike Christianity where you go to church, then go ahead and do anything you like. In other words, it calls for a change of lifestyle.

My son, who had been living with me when I embraced Islam, was not interested in religion (Christianity or Islam) at the time. He was 18 and religion was not in his lifestyle. Sometime after I had lost my teaching position, I was asked to start and manage a women's section at the Islamic center. Every week, I would bring home books and neatly put them on the dining room table and every day they were still there. Periodically, I would change them, hoping that he would read them and ask me some questions. He never did. Several times that year, I had some of the brothers from the Islamic center come and talk to him. He was always polite, but uninterested. One day someone talked to him and there was a spirit of conviction on his face. He asked me, "Why didn't you tell me this?" I was stunned and mentioned that I had left the books there, hoping he would read them and ask me questions. He then told me that when I would leave the house, he and his friends would read them and then put them back! Also, I had an Adhan (call for prayer) clock and he said when I was out of the house and he was alone, he would play it over and over! His name is now Omar. He left his old lifestyle and friends and is also working in Saudi Arabia .

He has been more successful than me in talking to his older sisters about Islam. As of yet, no one else in the family has embraced Islam, but we continue to make dua (supplications) for them. Insha'Allah, I will live to see at least some of my children and grandchildren become Muslim's. I have never regretted becoming a Muslim and pray that Allah will give me the Iman (faith) of the Sahaba (companions of the Prophet, [peace be upon him).

Say: Indeed my Lord has guided me to a straight path-a correct religion-the way of Abraham, inclining toward truth. And he was not among those who associated others with Allah. Say: Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds. No partner has He. And this I have been commanded and I am the first [among you] of the Muslims. Holy Quran : Surah Al-An'am : 161-163."


Friday, November 27, 2009


Setelah runtuhnya Kota Melaka,
Kita dirikan Putrajaya,
Satukan hati bangsa Malaysia!
Agar perpaduan, kekal selamanya!

Erm... Apa yang kau faham tentang Biro Tatanegara (BTN)?. Aku sebenarnya sampai sekarang masih tidak faham tujuan BTN ini dijalankan walaupun sudah mengikuti program ini lebih kurang dua tahun lepas!! Haha. Aku lagi bertambah bengang apabila, program ini menjadi program wajib bagi setiap pelajar di kampus aku khususnya, dan mungkin juga di kampus lain umumnya. Wajib maksudnya, penting sebagai syarat bergraduate!! Dalam kata lain, kalau tidak mengikuti program ini, walau kau meraung hentak-hentak kaki sampai runtuh bangunan KLCC pun, kau tidak akan bergraduate! Kira macam, pentingnya program ini setaraf dengan pentingnya kursus-kursus yang kau ambil selama 3, 4 atau 5tahun kau di universiti!!. (betulkan kalau aku salah).

Jadi, apa sebenarnya BTN ini sehingga menjadi begitu penting dalam kamus negara dan begitu menyusahkan! dalam kamus pelajar!?? OK! Biarlah aku ceritakan pengalaman aku semasa mengikuti program ini lebih kurang dua tahun lepas. Ketika itu, program hanya dijalankan selama sehari, dan diisi dengan program ceramah semata-mata!! Adoi laaa.. Aku yang memang jenis pembaris yang kurang gemar mendengar ceramah, maka kau faham sajalah!. Apatah lagi bila, isi ceramah dipenuhi dengan kutukan dan lemparan kata-kata kesat kepada pembangkang peringkat kampus secara mikronya, dan kutukan dan lemparan kata-kata kesat kepada pembangkang peringkat negara secara makronya!!.

Jadi, selepas mengikuti program itu, setelah dihidangkan propaganda2 bangkai itu, maka pun kununnya faham yang program ini dijalankan untuk memperkenalkan kepada kita umumnya, dan aku khususnya, betapa jahat!nya pembangkang itu, dan betapa malaikat!nya mereka itu. Tapi, pada masa itu, aku yang masih biul dan botol, maka aku biarkan saja. Mungkin, sebab aku tidak pernah terfikir untuk menjadi sepenyibuk ini. Eheks!!

Jadi, aku terus tidak faham, tidak tahu dan bahasa kiasannya, senduk dalam hal BTN ni sehinggalah apabila Selangor tidak mahu BTN diteruskan di negeri itu kerana melihat BTN sebagai indoktrinasi kerajaan untuk menimbulkan fenomena yang agak racist (perkauman). Apabila aku mengimbas kembali pengalaman 2 tahun yang lepas, umm.. betul juga tu. Eheks!!

Kemudian, tiba-tiba aku jadi sedikit pandai malam ini. Maka aku pun mencari tujuan sebenar BTN ini dijalankan malah! wajib diikuti oleh kakitangan kerajaan dan pelajar2 yang tidak bersalah ini. Rupa2nya, tujuan BTN ni untuk memupuk semangat patriotisme, membina sikap berteraskan nilai murni dan penghayatan cintakan negara di kalangan warganegara. Owhhh...( sambil menggeleng kepala).

Kadang-kadang, kita sebenarnya menjadi duri dalam daging kita sendiri tanpa kita sedari!!!

Aku Sakit

Aku membuang pandang ke luar tingkap, melewati tingkap yang dipenuhi habuk dan tampalan sticker, sticker amaran larangan membuang sampah ke luar tingkap! Nasib baik aku hanya membuang pandang, kalau tidak! mungkin aku akan menepati ciri-ciri victim yang perlu membayar rm50! walaupun sampah yang dibuang mungkin hanya kulit gula-gula hacks!! Masih melihat ke luar dengan halwa telinga disumbat dengan alunan instrumental spring time!. Masih memandang, memandang untuk mencari konklusi (mungkin) atau hanya ingin melepaskan sesak di dada! dan membiarkan sendi kematu kerana kaku terlalu lama!

Di luar sana, tiada siapa yang menyambut pandangan!. Aku cuba menyapa burung, tapi dia terus terbang riang! Ke kiri, ke kanan, ke depan, ke belakang, ke atas dan ke bawah!! Sedikit pun tidak memandang aku. Entah! Mungkin dia tidak perasan. Atau tidak ingin membebankan dirinya memandang aku dengan sejuta kekalutan!! Hidupnya sudah cukup bahagia begitu dan aku tahu, dia tidak bersalah kalaupun dia terus bersikap begitu.

Aku meneruskan perjalanan, dan singgah sekejap di dataran konkrit! Pandangan aku singgah di situ!. Tanpa dijemput, tanpa disuruh!! Tapi, seperti yang aku jangka, konkrit bisu itu diam! Memandang aku tanpa perasaan! Dia tidak mengerti kepenatan aku merentas lautan jerebu sehingga aku sampai kepadanya. Dia tidak mengerti! Aku tahu, aku tidak boleh menyalahkannya. Di atasnya pula, dihuni oleh jutaan, eh! salah!! billion mereka yang berfikiran dangkal! dan berjiwa haprak!! Sangat sukar mencari mereka yang benar2 waras! dan! konkrit itu didominasi sehingga hitam!! dan dimanipulasi sehingga diam!!!

Sekali lagi pandangan aku meneruskan perjalanan, dan cuba meminta simpati kepada awan yang kelihatan cantik dengan bentuk yang pelbagai! Abstrak!! Dia menyapa aku ramah!! Aku gembira!! Eh! Salah!! Aku sebenarnya sangat gembira!! Ya!! Sangat gembira!! Namun!, tiba-tiba angin kuat datang meniupnya, jauh! Bentuknya juga bertukar raksasa! Kali ini, aku disakiti! Aku dibelasah sehingga layu!! Tiba2 datang mentari, menyapa aku! Namun, kemudian! mengajak aku bermain catur! Aku sakit! Terlalu sakit untuk kau ajak bertarung!!

Orang Arab

Alhamdulillah... selamat menunaikan solat hari raya aidiladha secara berjemaah di masjid kampus. Lepas usai mengerjakan solat, aku dan kawan sempat pula bergambar di dalam masjid dan juga mengambil gambar candid wajah-wajah mulus adik, kakak dan mak arab yang cun!! Hehe. Aku suka apabila dapat datang berjemaah di masjid, selain dapat solat berjemaah itu sendiri, aku suka sebab masa inilah dapat melihat wajah-wajah cun! adik, kakak dan mak arab yang selama ini terlindung dengan purdah mereka! Memang cun!! Pendek kata : Perfect!! Sebab inilah wanita digalakkan memakai purdah! Terutamanya, mereka yang cantik, ayu dan cun!! Sebab, sedangkan aku yang wanita ini suka dan teruja melihat kecantikan, keayuan dan ke'cun'an mereka!, apatah lagi kau yang bergelar lelaki!!! Eheks!! Ni antara gambar adik, kakak dan mak arab yang berjaya aku ambil. Hehe. Halalkan yer adik, kakak dan mak arab sekalian...

Mereka memang cantik!! Kau mahu isteri dan anak macam mereka?. Boleh!! Pergi pindah ke palestin!! Selamatkan wanita-wanita arab dan anak-anak arab di sana!. Eheks!!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Esok raya!!!

Yah!! Esok raya!! (sambil cuba menghayati alunan takbir raya yang baru aku muat turun dan terus mainkan di laptop aku yang sudah usang ni. eheks!!). Aku sebenarnya baru terjumpa satu laman web (org melayu) yang menyediakan banyak movie dan mp3 yang boleh didownload secara free dan sangat mudah!! whoaaa!! Kau mahu tahu??. Boleh!! Tapi tunggu sampai mellinium depan! ekekeke - iklan~

Esok raya!! hehe. Apa perasaan kau? Haha! Mungkin kau sedang bergembira di rumah sekarang ni. Mengisi ketupat, memasak rendang, mengacau dodol.. kan? kan?. Aku pula sibuk di depan laptop aku yang usang ini meneka apa yang kau sedang buat pada malam raya ini. Jadi, pendapat kau, apa perasaan aku sekarang? Eheks!!

Yah!! Aku di sini, di depan laptop aku yang usang ini, menulis, mendengar takbir, mendownload movie yang akan ditonton esok selepas mengerjakan solat sunat hari raya aidiladha! Huhu. Aku bukan seperti kau yang berada di rumah dan menyambut hari raya bersama keluarga, jadi tidak ada istilah berkunjung dan dikunjungi dalam diari hari raya aku esok dan! apa yang pasti, tidak ada istilah mengacau dodol, memasak rendang dan merebus ketupat dalam diari raya aku malam ini!. Seperti tadi, aku hanya duduk menghadap laptop dan sekali sekala menjenguk tingkap sebab tumpuan diganggu oleh angin sepoi2 yang meniup langsir bilik dan menutup laptop aku yang usang ini. Eheks!!

Kau yang beraya bersama keluarga, selamat hari raya aidiladha!!!
Kau yang beraya tanpa keluarga, selamat hari raya aidiladha dan jangan bersedih!
Kau yang beraya bersama aku, jom tengok movie lepas solat sunat esok!!! hahaha!!

Selamat hari raya semua...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

setianya si bayang-bayang

Kau pernah nampak bayang-bayang?. Kalau kau katakan 'tidak', maka lebih baik kau hantukkan kepala kau ke dinding sebab dikhuatiri, kau ialah hantu!!. dan hentikan membaca entri ini kerana, entri ini hanya untuk mereka yang bergelar manusia. Eheks!!

Kau masih membaca?. ok2!!. Oleh sebab kau masih membaca, maka aku anggap kau ialah manusia. OK?. Apa itu bayang2?. Menurut wikipedia, bayang-bayang ialah imej yang terbentuk apabila cahaya terhalang sesuatu. Bayang-bayang tidak boleh digenggam, hanya boleh dilihat. Sifatnya pula tidak sesempurna objek yang menjadi bayang-bayang itu sendiri!.

Oleh sebab sifatnya yang tidak sempurna (mungkin) atau lagi tepat, ianya langsung tidak penting dalam perkembangan kau sebagai manusia, dan perkembangan negara dalam peradaban dunia!, justeru, tidak ramai yang mengambil kisah tentang bayang-bayang itu. Buktinya, kau sendiri. Ada kau pernah kisah tentang bagaimana rupa bentuk bayang-bayang kau?. Kalau kau duduk begini, bagaimana rupa bentuk bayang-bayang kau. Tidak pernah kan? kan? Malah, kadang-kadang kau cuba pula memijak bayang-bayang kau sendiri!! Dalam kata lain, bolehlah dikatakan bahawa bayang-bayang ini 'ada' tapi 'hilang dari kewujudan' kemudian cuba pula disakiti oleh objek yang bertanggungjawab mewujudkannya. Eheks!!

Tapi, tanpa kau sedar, bayang-bayang itulah yang sering menemani kau. Mengikut kau ke mana-mana. Walaupun kau tidak pernah terfikir pun tentangnya!!. Cuma kadang-kadang, apabila keadaan tidak mengizinkan, ia tiada! Ketika itulah kau mula gelisah!! Namun, bukan gelisah tentangnya, tetapi gelisah kerana tiada cahaya yang dapat mewujudkannya. Walaupun kau tidak pernah memikirkannya, namun dia tetap setia!! Yah!! dia setia! walau kau tidak pernah memikirkan tentangnya!!

Kau masih membaca?? Kau faham?? Kalau kau faham, mungkin kau ialah hantu!. Hehe

Sunday, November 22, 2009


Apa topik hari ini?!. Sebenarnya aku betul2 bosan!. Sangat bosan!! Bosan tahap sidratul muntaha. Bila bosan2 begini, mood menulis pun hilang. Mood menconteng lagilah!! Mereka ini hanya akan wujud ketika aku berada dalam kesibukan dan ketensenan yang amat! Ha!! Ketika itulah mood menulis dan menconteng aku akan muncul! Sungguh aku x faham! Dan mungkin tidak akan faham sehingga mellinium hadapan sekalipun!! Adoi laaa

Moving Out!!!

Yah!! Aku akan berpindah!. Apa yang aku rasa?. Erm.. Sedikit sedih, sunyi dan kacau bilau! Eheks!! Kau nampak longgokan barang dalam gambar tu?. Separuh daripadanya, milik aku. Adehh. Ngeri aku melihat, apatah lagi membayangkan aku mengangkat semuanya ke tempat baru! Kau sah-sah x boleh tolong aku! Jadi, lupakan! dan berhenti daripada membayangkan sesuatu yang tidak best untuk dibayangkan!. STOP! Eheks!!!

Sedar x sedar, sudah 3 tahun lebih aku bergelar warga kampus dan semakin hampir untuk menamatkan gelaran itu. WARGA KAMPUS SEJAHTERA. Sangat manis gelaran ini. Kehidupan kampus yang banyak mengajar aku erti hidup. Sungguh! Kalau aku tidak melangkah ke sini dahulu, aku mungkin masih menumpang dengan keputusan orang, masih takut untuk berlari sendirian, dan mungkin juga! aku tidak mampu untuk membayangkan apa itu kesusahan sekalipun!! Masih seperti kanak2 yang hanya pandai bermain dan dipanggil apabila makan dan kembali lagi bermain!! Eheks!!

Kenapa aku berasa sungguh sedih pagi ini?!!! Haizzzz!!! ok2!! Aku faham! Setiap yang bermula, pasti akan berakhir!! sebab! inilah hakikat insan!! Aku akan ingat sampai mati! Sudah mati pun, aku akan ingat! InsyaAllah...

Kepada kawan2 sekampus, entah bila kita akan berjumpa lagi. Bulan depan?. Tahun depan?. Dekad depan?. Mellinium depan?. Huhu. Kita tidak boleh menolak hakikat perpisahan, tapi kita masih boleh menyimpan kenangan kan? kan?. Eheks!! Jadi, kalau aku kau anggap 'sesiapa' atau pernah kau anggap 'sesiapa' dalam hidup kau, percayalah!! Selagi bumi yang bulat ini berputar, selagi itulah!! Kau tetap dalam hatiku. InsyaAllah...Nanti, kalau aku sudah kawin (kalau aku kahwin laa), aku akan ceritakan kisah kita kepada anak-anak aku (kalau aku ada anak laa). Eheks!!

Sekian, ukhuah fillah, abadan abada. Mari sama-sama menghayati lagu ini kawan2! Hehehe

Kawan - UNIC

Kawan bertahun kita bersama
Bagai semalam baru bersua
Kawan dihadapan oh! Indahnya
Kita bersama berkelana

Namun kita jauh di dunia sendiri
Bekalan sendiri(semangat sendiri) Impian sendiri
Meski pun jauh namun kita tetap bersama
Dek ruang yang memisahkan kita

Kawan hidup ini umpama langit yang tidak selalu cerah
Kawan hidup ini umpama awan yang tidak selalu putih
Ingatlah! bintang-bintang di langit takkan terus berkelipan
Pelangi yang indah Pasti akan hilang

Kawan jangan biarkan dirimu
Seperti rama-rama
Cantik namun akhirnya menjadi perhiasan di dinding
Kawan jangan biarkan dirimu
Umpama lipan dan kala
Berbisa namun akhirnya menjadi perhiasan di meja tulis

Oh! Kawan jadilah seperti si matahari
Membakar diri demi insan sejagat
Oh! Kawan jadilah seperti bulan purnama
Menerangi malam yang gelap gelita
Menunjukkan jalan demi ummat semesta

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Dia membunuh lagi!!

Whoaa!! Macam-macam perfume dan kosmetik yang ada di pasaran sekarang kan? Tentu kau sendiri boleh senaraikan jenama-jenama perfume dan kosmetik yang ada. Semacam menjadi trend sekarang. Kalau keluar, mesti pakai perfume dan kosmetik! Kira, dua benda ni sudah jadi benda wajib sekarang la kannn... kira, macam kita boleh kata kpd adik kita, kalau x pakai tudung, dosa! Kalau x pakai perfume dan kosmetik, malapetaka!! eheks!! Tapi, aku bukanlah penggemar kedua-dua benda itu yah! Sekurang-kurangnya sekarang belum lagi. Eheks!!!

Kenapa tiba-tiba aku terfikir menulis tentang dua benda alah ni?!! Oh!! Ya! Baru aku ingat!! Tadi, semasa aku melepak di Kosmo!, aku terbaca cerita tentang lemak manusia yang dijadikan sebagai bahan kosmetik di Eropah! Aiyark!! Lagi menyedihkan apabila, di sebalik penghasilan produk ini, terdapat 60 orang nyawa yang melayang! Tentunya secara paksa! Mereka dibunuh!! Mereka itu ialah penduduk tempatan Peru. Dibunuh, dan diambil lemak mereka, kemudian diproses sehingga menjadi kosmetik yang kau gunakan sekarang ni. Aiyark!!! ok2!! Aku faham. Kau punya produk yang halal kan?. Ada cop halal dari JAKIM kan? kan? Eheks!!

Kawasan pembunuhan!!

Menurut Kosmo!, mangsa yang kebanyakannya Orang Asli dan peladang diperdayakan dengan ditawarkan kerja sebelum dibunuh. Ciss!! Penipu! Pembunuh!! Kejam! Binatang!! Kata seluruh keluarga mangsa. Eheks!!!

Perfume : The story of a murderer

Semasa membaca kisah ini, tiba-tiba aku teringat filem Perfume : The story of a murderer. Lebih kurang macam inilah kisahnya. Tapi, dalam filem ini, pembunuh ini yang menjadi watak utama. Ciss!! Watak pembunuh dalam filem ini (aku sudah lupa namanya, dan malas pula menggoogle untuk mencari!) merupakan seorang yang sangat sensitif deria baunya sejak dilahirkan!. Namun, lahir sebagai seorang yang kurang kasih sayang!. Bermulanya kerjayanya sebagai pembunuh apabila dia terbunuh seorang perempuan dan pada masa inilah kerjayanya sebagai seorang perfumer bermula. Kalau aku tidak silap laaa... sebab, aku menonton filem ini berabad dulu. Eheks!!!

Pendek kata, dia telah berjaya menghasilkan formula untuk menghasilkan perfume yang akan dapat menjadikan orang berkasih sayang, namun untuk itu, dia perlu membunuh beberapa orang gadis yang masih dara untuk mendapatkan (apa ntah?). Kalau bahasa sainsnya, mungkin sel dagu wanita yang dibunuhnya. Sekali lagi, kalau ingin mendapatkan kesahihan dan kalau kau rajin, kau bolehlah membuat review sendiri. Dan, akhirnya, untuk melengkapkan perfume yang dihasilkannya dengan gabungan sel dagu beberapa orang ( ke berapa puluh orang?) wanita, dia perlu pula membunuh wanita yang dia cintai untuk menjadikan perfumenya sempurna!!

Dia membunuh lagi! Kali ini wanita pertama yang dicintainya!! Eheks!!!

Tidak bertauliah?. Duk diam2!! Kata mereka

Macam kenal manusia dekat dengan Dr. MAZA tuh. Apa dia buat di situ? Eheks!!

Mesti kau pernah dengar cerita pasal Dr. Asri atau nama akronimnya, Dr. MAZA (Mohd. Asri Zainul Abidin) yang ditangkap di rumahnya ketika menyampaikan ceramah agama kerana menyampaikan ceramah tanpa tauliah?. Kan? Kan? Yang kes dr. MAZA ditangkap oleh rombongan JAIS yang seramai 35 orang tu. Kau tahu kan? kan? Eheks!!!

Jadi, apa pendapat kau?

Kata kawan kepada kawan aku, dari segi undang-undang, memanglah perbuatan Dr. MAZA itu menyalahi undang-undang, sebab untuk menyampaikan ceramah agama, seseorang itu perlu mendapat tauliah dari Jabatan Agama dan dalam kes Dr. MAZA ini, beliau perlu mendapatkan tauliah yang sebenarnya permit daripada Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (JAIS) dahulu. Ini bagi mengelakkan berlakunya penyebaran ajaran sesat. Sekurang-kurangnya, inilah yang kawan kepada kawan aku kata. Aku bukan orang undang-undang, jadi aku tidak boleh mengulas lebih-lebih pula mengenai kes ini dari segi undang-undang.

Tapi, sebagai seorang manusia yang waras (sekurang-kurangnya pada ketika ini. eheks!!), maka aku terpanggil pula mempertikaikan tindakan mereka itu. OK!. Kau tahu, dan mereka juga tahu, Dr. MAZA merupakan seorang bekas pensyarah Bahagian Pengajian Islam, USM. Beliau merupakan orang berilmu, seorang pendidik dan rasanya, kau dan mereka belum pernah mendengar beliau membuat onar di muka bumi ini sehingga menyebabkan beliau dicop sebagai pengganas. Betul?. Jadi, apakah logiknya seorang pendidik dan merupakan mufti perlis ini ditangkap oleh segerombolan orang di rumahnya sendiri seperti beliau merupakan seorang penjenayah besar yang perlu dikawal beramai-ramai kerana takut akan mengganas jika ditangkap!! Kan? Kan? ke bukan? bukan ke? eheks!!

Kemudian, kau rasa, ajaran sesat apakah yang akan bakal diajarkan oleh seorang doktor falsafah yang mengkhusus dalam pengajian Al-Quran dan As-sunnah ini? kemudian mendapat pula 5 ijazah sanad menerusi jalur ulama India. Kau rasa, kesesatan apakah yang akan bakal dibawa oleh beliau?. Memang! Kita tidak boleh menilai orang melalui luarannya dan tidak boleh pula mentafsir niat orang disebalik tindakannya. Itu kerja Tuhan yang Esa! Tapi, bukankah kita dibekalkan dengan fikrah? Dan fikrah kita diajar, kesucian hati seseorang itu akan dapat digambarkan melalui riak wajahnya dan sopan santun tingkah lakunya. kan? kan? bukan ka? Eheks!!

Oh! Khabarnya khamis tu, permohonan Ketua Pendakwa Syarie Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (JAIS) untuk memindahkan kes tersebut di Mahkamah Tinggi Syariah ditolak kerana mengemukakan alasan yang kurang munasabah. Agaknya, mereka ini sudah tidak ada kerja. Atau mungkin sudah bosan menangkap orang berkhalwat atau! kerana sudah terlalu ramai yang berkhalwat sehingga tidak mampu untuk ditangkap!. Nah!! Kerja sedia ada pun masih berlambak dan belum selesai, mahu pula memeningkan kepala dengan kes yang tidak sepatutnya ada ini! Bukankah botol, chopstik, dan plastik namanya tu?!.

Kawan kepada kawan kepada kawan aku kata, orang-orang yang buat kerja-kerja botol, chopstik dan plastik ni biasanya ialah orang yang ada double PhD. (Penyakit hasad Dengki) dan! (Permenant head Damage!). Aku kata : Rindulah makan satay kajang Hj. Samuri. Sedap!! hehehe...

Friday, November 20, 2009

Kau sekolah takat mana?

"tak nak teruskan derita tanpa berusaha nak cari kebahagiaan"

Kata seseorang yang aku kenal rapat lagi amat kasih apabila kami berborak thru YM pada satu ketika. Tentunya perbincangan kami dari hal ehwal negara sehingga sampai ke simpang yang menyebabkan kami berbincang pula hal perasaan yang satu ini : Bahagia : Hanya satu perkataan, tetapi membawa makna yang sangat dalam.

Apa itu bahagia?

Mungkin, kalau aku bertanya kepada kau secara face-to-face, mungkin kau akan kata "kau ni bodoh ke bahlul atau memang spesis botol yang memang biul?" ataupun kau terus ambil cangkul dan bunuh aku pada masa itu juga! Eheks!! Jadi, sebelum aku kau pelangkung atau kau cincang, marilah kita berbincang secara aman dahulu. Eheks!!

Sahabat aku kata, bahagia itu gembira. Iyah!! Aku setuju!! Bahagia itu ialah perasaan yang menggembirakan. Tentunya!!! Kalau kau bahagia, tapi kau tidak gembira, maka, lebih baik kau cepat2 pindah planet, sebab mungkin kau ialah makhluk asing!!!

Tapi adakah gembira itu bahagia? Kata sahabat aku, bukan!! Gembira itu satu keadaan. Keadaan yang tercetus kerana kita membuat sesuatu yang menggembirakan. Ia bersifat sementara. Maksudnya, kalau aku gembira, bukan bermakna aku bahagia. Begitu?? Kata sahabat aku, Ya!. Dia kata lagi, bahagia, walau kita nampak depan mata sekalipun sesuatu yang boleh buat kita bahagia, tapi kalau ia bukan untuk kita, walau tarik kiri, tolak kanan, pelangkung depan, sondol belakang sekalipun, kita tidak akan dapat! Itu Harga Bahagia!!!

Jadi, bagaimana untuk bahagia?. Sahabat aku kata, untuk bahagia, kita tidak perlukan ego. Kenapa?. Sahabat aku terdiam dan tiba2 menjerit! "itu pun nak tanya ka?!! Kau ni sekolah takat darjah berapa??". Hehehe

Kau tanya aku kenapa?? Kau ni sekolah takat mana?? Eheks!!!


Menonton filem 2012 hari ini setelah semalaman men'download'! Sakit hati sebab tidak dapat melihat kesudahan cerita ini! sebabnya? bahagian II dan III filem ini tidak dapat dimainkan dari mana-mana player yang aku ada! Memang lahanat betullah!! Format file ialah .mkv dan aku tahu codec yang sesuai ialah Matroska dan! aku yakin aku sudah meng'install' software ni. Bahagian I filem ini (peng'upload telah membahagi2kan filem ini untuk memudahkan kerja meng'upload' dan men'download'. Rasanya...). Sambung balik, (eheks!) Jadi, bahagian I cerita ni, OK ja aku tengok, tapi bila aku buka bahagian II, GOM kata, you don't have necessary codec to play!! x faham betul!!! kalau betul, kenapa part I aku boleh habiskan dengan jayanya??. Cisss!! Malaslah aku menyelongkar seluruh isi internet ini semata-mata kerana ingin mencari codec yang sesuai kononnya untuk format .mkv. Biarlah!! (Kata-kata pasrah). Eheks!!

Kalau kawan aku merangkap kawan baik aku membaca entri ini, aku jamin dia akan ketawa guling-guling sampai masuk bawah katil!. Sebab katanya, dia akan tengok nanti, ada orang belanja. Aku pula sempat berlagak tadi, aku kata, aku x perlu bayar sesen pun utk tgok cerita ini. Malah boleh baring-baring atas tilam sambil membalas komen2 kawan di Fesbuk, sambil makan2 nasi cafe harapan dan dapat pula bergosip dengan kawan2 thru YM. Whoaa!! Jadi, aku dapat bayangkan kalau dia membaca ketidakhabisan aku menonton filem ini atas alasan yang terlampaulah tidak logik dan sangat menyakitkan hati ini, dia pasti akan terus ketawa sambil tekan2 perut walau kepalanya disondol dengan penyapu sekalipun! Dan aku tahu dengan sesungguhnya, dia tidak bersalah kalau dia berkeputusan untuk ketawa sampai ke millenium depan sekalipun!! Eheks!!

OK! Setakat yang aku sempat tengok tadi, seperti biasa, filem2 orang putih ini amat superb dari segi kesan bunyi, ilustrasi (apa lagi yah??). Aku bukan orang filem. Jadi, aku tidak boleh menhuraikan panjang lebar tentang fizikal filem ini. Tapi, secara separuhnya, filem ini memang menarik. Filem ini juga dikaitkan dengan gambaran kiamat. Hurm... aku terfikir pula, kalaulah begini keadaannya, jadi siapakah yang bertuah menjadi watak utama dalam filem ini yah?? Seperti yang terdapat dalam filem ini, watak utamanya merupakan sebuah keluarga yang berjaya melepaskan diri dari tenggelam sama dalam runtuhan yang berlaku. Berjaya melarikan diri dari kiamat. Hik3.

Jadi macammana? Apa yang aku perlu buat untuk kedua-dua file yang corrupt nih?! Kalau boleh dipegang dan digenggam file ini, sudah lama aku buang dalam tong sampah dan minta bantuan kamen rider untuk hantar sisa buangan ke angkasa lepas!!! Huuh!!

Pendapat kau?

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Pada mulanya, aku ingin berkongsi dengan kau pasal undang-undang, tapi!! tiba-tiba emosi aku diganggu oleh seorang makhluk Tuhan yang sering mengganggu emosi aku dari millenium lepas!! Dia seperti nyamuk. Menghampiri, mengganggu, menggigit dan kemudian berlalu pergi! Tentunya setelah mengambil eritrosit aku yang amat penting untuk pengaliran oksigen!!! Akibatnya, seluruh sendi aku lemah kerana sel darah merah yang sepatutnya membawa oksigen ke seluruh saraf dan sendi telah dia curi dan bawa lari!! Aku sesak nafas!! Sungguh kejam pencuri itu!! Kejam!! ~ Iklan...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

dari satu titik

Hidup ini bermula dari satu. Setuju?
Satu itu kata lain bagi permulaan. Setuju??
Maka, apa yang aku ingin katakan di sini, untuk bergerak, maka kita perlu berganjak dari angka satu itu atau dengan kata lain, perlu meneruskan perjalanan. Arakian, namanya bukan lagi permulaan. Setuju??

Kemudian, apabila kita sudah bergerak, maka kita akan menemui banyak jalan. Jalan pintas, jalan simpang, jalan berlubang, jalan batu, jalan berlumpur, jalan sempit, jalan besar dan yang paling bahaya, JALAN MATI!!.

Aku bukan ingin berbicara mengenai jenis jalan pada entri kali ini, tunggulah pada entri akan datang, atau kau pergi saja selongkar laman web Kementerian Kerja Raya. eheks!! Apa yang aku ingin tekankan di sini, ketika menemui jalan-jalan ini, kadang-kadang kita mengeluh kerana disebabkan jalan itu berlumpur, maka terhenti sekejap perjalanan kita kerana, berfikir bagaimana untuk mengelakkan daripada dikotori lumpur, atau mungkin akan ternoda juga, tapi cuba berfikir bagaimana meminimumkan kekotoran itu. Apatah lagi kalau jalan itu, sempit dan berlubang!!

Kalau silap dan tidak berhati-hati, kita akan terjatuh pula ke dalam lubang yang dipenuhi lumpur itu. Maka, basahlah kita dengan dikotori lumpur!! bukan setakat kaki, tapi mungkin separuh daripada badan kita akan dicaliti. KOTOR dan HODOH!! Ketika jatuh itu pula, mungkin kaki kita terseliauh atau patah!! Maka, di situ lah kita... di dalam lumpur hanyir itu. Pada mulanya, kita tidak selesa. Tapi, setelah beberapa ketika, kita malah suka di situ.

Kemudian, oleh kerana rahmat-NYA yang tidak pernah putus, maka DIA datangkan seseorang untuk membantu kita bangun, dan keluar dari situ. Lalu, berjalanlah kita lagi. Dengan tenaga yang masih bersisa, lumpur hanyir dan hodoh menyaluti kita, kita meneruskan perjalanan. Terus, berjalan tanpa henti sehingga ke satu saat yang tidak pasti.

...kita dari satu titik sehingga ke titik yang tidak pasti...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Bukan salah kau memandang

Kadang-kadang, aku hairan kenapa?
Tentunya mengenai sikap manusia yang ada di sekeliling aku.
Aku hidup dengan mereka dan mereka itu ialah manusia.

Sepanjang hidup ini,
Aku tidak pernah kata aku sempurna. Tidak!! Tidak pernah!!
Aku tidak pernah kata aku warak. Tidak!! Tidak pernah!!
Aku tidak pernah kata aku alim. Tidak!! Tidak pernah!!
Malah, aku tidak pernah meminta kau untuk menilai aku. Tidak!! Tidak pernah!!

Justeru kenapa?
Apabila aku tersilap, lantas kau melenting?
Apabila aku terlupa, kau kata aku alim yang tidak tahu?
Apabila aku berjenaka, kau kata aku warak yang mengada-ngada?
Apabila aku bergembira, kau kata aku ntah apa-apa?
Tapi, apabila aku berduka, kau tak pernah ambil tahu kenapa!!

Aku hargai kesudian kau memandang aku,
Tapi, bukan dengan memandang aku setinggi gunung Kinabalu,
Cukuplah sekadar separas rumput di padang,
Sebab sebenarnya,
Aku tidak pernah meminta kau untuk memandang aku. Tidak pernah!!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Benarkah Iskandar bukan Zulkarnain?

Setelah berzaman membaca buku ini, baru saat dan detik ini aku terpanggil untuk membuat sedikit ulasan. Seperti biasa, aku kononnya sibuk. haha. Mungkin kau pernah membaca buku ini? atau paling tidak, mengetahui kewujudan buku ini? eheks!!

Buku ini berjaya membawa fikrah aku hingga 2000 tahun sebelum masihi!!! Oh!! Penceritaan peristiwa kewujudan manusia yang tersusun rapi, bermula dari Adam as sehingga sampai ke simpang yang membawa aku mengenali siapa zulkarnain dan siapa sebenarnya Iskandar!

Apa yang pasti, kalau kau percaya Iskandar itu Zulkarnain, maka samalah seperti kau percaya yang george bush 'membunuh' Saddam Hussien suatu ketika dulu "mungkin" disebabkan Saddam Hussien tidak pandai memerintah negara!!

Friday, November 13, 2009

budak nescafe ais pengsan!!

Aku pengsan tiba2 di cafe harapan semalam!! NO komen kerana aku sangat malu.

Pen Off!!!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

mungkin esok saja..

NAH!! inilah lambakan nota yang perlu aku
dan ingat
sebelum 19 november nanti.
Tahu apa maksudnya?
Maksudnya, aku perlu berlari lagi. Eheks!!

aku penat berlari
dalam segala ketidakupayaan ini!
nope!! Not now!.
Mungkin esok saja.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Suka-suka kerana aku suka!

Aku suka menconteng!!! Mungkin pernah aku katakan kpd kau satu ketika dulu?? minat aku yang satu ini. Ya! pernah!! tapi, bukan dalam blog ini. Tapi, dalam blog aku yang sudah menjadi arwah itu. Minat dan kecenderungan aku untuk menconteng!! Aku menconteng untuk suka-suka. Jadi, ikut suka hati kau lah mahu kata apa! Kerana kita sama. Bukan suka sama suka!, tapi kerana kita sama suka-suka!! Nah! Kau lihatlah sendiri hasil contengan aku ni. Saja. Suka-suka.

Ni laa hasil contengan aku. Ha!! Satu lagi! Kau tau apa??. Apabila aku semakin suka menconteng, itu ertinya aku sudah semakin tensennnn!! Esok aku ada exam, tapi sempat lagi tu menconteng!!! ciss!! hehehe

erm.... aku suka menconteng. Kau suka apa??